Malacandra.me

Twas Beauty Cream Killed The Beast



You're Liberal, you're smart, but you have this one, big, adorable blind spot when in comes to your Crazy Uncle Liberty.

See, you figured out long ago that trying to convince Crazy Uncle Liberty to see even a glimmer of reason or admit to even the smallest error is like trying to convince a slab of basalt to try yoga.  It doesn't bend, it will never bend, and on a basic ontological level, it is not capable of understanding anything you are saying. 

But still you persist, which is why I know that one day very soon as you patiently waste the precious hours of your life trying to get him to admit that throwing babies in cages is, y'know, bad, or that Donald Trump's unalloyed love for Vladimir Putin is, at best, weird, your Crazy Uncle Liberty will suddenly come at you out of left field with a spirited "Whatabout The Derp State!" defense of noted lotion aficionado and used-mattress fetishist, Scott Pruitt. 

This will temporarily flummox you because, like all of Crazy Uncle Liberty's certitudes, it is so randomly, wildly stupid that, just, WTF?  I mean, really, WTAF?  And in that frozen moment of WTF, Crazy Uncle Liberty will scamper away, back to his Patriot Trump Hero Best MAGA Murrica Facebook Christian dumpster to strut his brand new tall tale of how he fucking owned that stupid Lib!  Again!  Those stupid Libs never learn!  High fives all around!

Your time is your own, of course.  And you may, of course. waste as much of it on these reprogrammable Conservative meatbags as you choose. But when Crazy Uncle Liberty throws this particular wild, random idiocy into the mix, you should at least know where it came from.

Your Crazy Uncle Liberty got it from Respectable Conservative Haver-of-Opinion, Hugh Hewitt, who can be found expounding his horseshit on radio stations from coast to coast, and in his Washington Post column.  

Your Crazy Uncle Liberty got it from Rupert Murdoch's very own Journal of Respectable Conservative Opinion, which can be found on the coffee tables of just about every bank, accounting firm and investment company in America every day of the week.

Pruitt Drowns in the Swamp
The permanent green government takes out Trump’s deregulator.

By The Editorial Board

Chalk one up for the swamp. The permanent progressive state finally ran Scott Pruitt out of the Environmental Protection Agency on Thursday, and the tragedy is that Mr. Pruitt gave his enemies so much ammunition.

President Trump announced on Twitter Thursday afternoon that he had accepted Mr. Pruitt’s resignation. Mr. Pruitt cited the “unrelenting attacks on me personally” and his family that have “taken a sizable toll on us all.” He’s right about unrelenting. Dozens of reporters have examined every furl of Mr. Pruitt’s forehead since he started the job.

Press dispatches have suggested that he misused private air travel, sent staff on personal errands and bought $1,560 pens, among dozens of other allegations. Mr. Pruitt says most of this was false or exaggerated, and no doubt much of it was. He’s also right that billionaires Tom Steyer and Mike Bloomberg were out to get him. You can add the EPA bureaucracy that leans left, the green lobby entwined with it, and their collaborators in the press corps...
The enemies of democracy are fighting this war on every front.

And they're fighting it for keeps.


Behold, a Tip Jar!