Trump House Elf Resigns

(Jefferson Beauregard Sessions:  Before and After)

It is now being widely rumored that, in a fit of roaring, unhinged pique for "letting the n*ggers and the sp*cs vote", President Stupid threw a shoe at Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, thus accidentally triggering the "release clause" --

-- of the house elf terms of servitude.

And thus, just moments ago (from NPR):
Jeff Sessions Out As Attorney General After Steady Drumbeat Of Criticism From Trump

Jeff Sessions, the president's earliest and most fervent supporter in Congress, stepped down as attorney general Wednesday after brutal criticism from the president, bringing an abrupt end to his controversial tenure as the nation's top law enforcement officer.

President Trump wrote on Twitter after a marathon press conference at the White House that Sessions was out and that Sessions' chief of staff, Matthew Whitaker, would serve as an acting replacement...
Jefferson Beauregard Sessions will now be free to spend more time pursuing his favorite leisure activity: Reading the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 aloud while masturbating.

Meanwhile, right about now, things should be getting real interesting for Mrs. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, aka Elaine Chao, aka President Stupid's Secretary of Transportation.  My guess is that she'll soldier on awhile longer on the theory that anyone who marries Jefferson Beauregard Sessions is perforce capable of limitless depravity and enduring bottomless humiliation.

Behold, a Tip Jar!