Malacandra.me

The History Of The World


1994:
Liberals:  Republicans are breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1995:
Liberals:  Seriously, Republicans are breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1996:
Liberals:  No kidding, this is getting bad.  Republicans are breeding monsters.  You should really be taking this a whole lot more seriously than you are. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1997:
Liberals:  Republicans.  Monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1998:
Liberals:  Hey look!  A bunch of monsters all wearing "Property of the GOP" tee shirts. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1999:
Liberals:  Really? Nothing? 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
2000:

Liberals:  Really?  Still nothing? 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
2001:
Liberals:   Yes, 9/11 was very bad.  And Republicans are still breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up, ya filthy Fifth Columnists.
2002:
Liberals: The monsters are lying us into the wrong war. 
Beltway Media:  Look surrender-monkey, Dubya is Murrica, so sit down and shut up.
2003:
Liberals: The monsters have teeth now.  They're looting the treasury and getting Americans killed. 
Beltway Media:  Iraq is going great!  We're all Fox now!  Sit down and shut up.
2004:
Liberals: The monsters are not even hiding anymore. 
Beltway Media:  John Kerry is a pussy.  Swiftboaters are credible. Sit down and shut up.
2005:
Liberals: The monsters are out in broad daylight now. Iraq is going to shit.  Also Katrina.  
Beltway Media:  Bush may have made some mistakes, but Liberals are bad too, so sit down and shut up.
2006:
Liberals: The monsters are on the run.  Maybe if we work together we can finally start undoing... 
Beltway Media:  Sure, but Both Sides, so sit down and shut up.
2007:
Liberals: Are you really going to sit there and pretend that... 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2008:
Liberals: Reality has finally repudiated Republican monsters.  At last we can begin to repair... 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2009:
Liberals: Don't you think it's time to start demanding that Republicans take some responsibility for... 
Beltway Media:  There are no Republicans.  There are only millions and millions of newly-minted "Independents."  Also shut up.
2010:
Liberals: Birtherism?  Death Panels?  Your're  not really going to let them... 
Beltway Media:  Oh look!  A Tea Party!  And they're mad at Both Sides!  Yay!
2011:
Liberals: The monsters are wearing tri-corn hats now, but they're still monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2012:
Liberals: The monsters the Republicans have bred are now openly nuts. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2013:
Liberals: And openly racist. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2014:
Liberals: The monster the Republicans were breeding monsters are now completely fucking out in the open about it.  Really.  They're out and proud.  
Beltway Media:  Facts are scary.   Facts get you fired.  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2015:
Liberals: Since it is physically impossible to not see the monsters at this point, clearly this game you are playing is serving someone else's agenda. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2016:
Liberals: Fuck me.  You really are going to let Il Douche get away with murder, aren't you?
Beltway Media:  Corrupt duopoly!  Disruption is awesome!  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2017:
2018:
Beltway Media: Panel after panel of wildly overpaid current and former Republicans discuss how no one saw any of this coming...


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