Malacandra.me

The Center-Right Scam is the Paige Compositor of American Politics


Bloody Bill Kristol is once again pissing away his investor's money with promises of digging up a Great White Hope for his Imaginary Conservative movement:
Translation:  Having surveyed the rubble of the GOP across five states and taken the temperature of various Republican aldermen, county clerks and village animal control professionals, Mr. Kristol is pretty sure he could field a candidate virtually guaranteed to get hog-slaughtered right out of the gate in the 2020 GOP primaries.  But just think of the ratings!

You might remember Mr. Kristol from such successful anti-Trump insurgent campaigns as...
Meet David French: the random dude off the street that Bill Kristol decided will save America from Trump
All of which really tells us only one thing.  Something that all of us have already known for decades.  That there exists in this country virtually unlimited reserves of stupid money in the hands of wealthy simpletons who are so fucking terrified of paying one additional dime in taxes that they will "invest" in any Sensible Centeristy-sounding political scam no matter how sketchy the premise or how disreputable the proprietor.

Which bring us to the Paige Compositor.

From Opening Lines:
[Mark] Twain met Paige in 1880 and was convinced to invest large sums of money in this project… for more than a decade. By the time the compositor was finally completed in 1889, Twain had sunk the equivalent of $3 million in today’s currency. It wasn’t the first time he’d made a bad investment. Twain once threw money towards a project to create a hand grenade that could extinguish fires. But the compositor was much worse for Twain and nearly bankrupted him.

“Twain’s life became an endless cycle of more bills from Paige, more missed deadlines and more humiliating attempts to summon up some new investors,” according to a feature in the New Scientist.
From Wikipedia:
However, the machine was not nearly as precise as it should have been and never turned a profit because of its complexity and continual need for adjustment based upon trial and error.
...
Only two machines were built. One was donated by Cornell University for a scrap metal drive during World War II. The other machine survives and is displayed at the Mark Twain House in Hartford, Connecticut.
So, will the Great Center-Right Scam, which has already wrecked the media beyond repair and bled various wealthy suckers and trust-fund goofs for billions of dollars, eventually be sold for scrap or end up on display at the Museum of Hoaxes?

And if it ends up at the museum will they please, please, please let me voice the exhibit narration?



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