Malacandra.me

‘Rapture to begin TODAY.’ Go back to bed. by @BloggersRUs

‘Rapture to begin TODAY.’ Or not.

by Tom Sullivan

All Donald Trump's troubles are over. And you can go back to sleep. Pray to God they don't talk it up this morning on "Fox and Friends." The end is here:

The world will cease to exist on April 23 according to a prediction that has some preparing for the worst, some yawning and others laughing.

The warning about an upcoming rapture from numerologist David Meade is the latest prophecy about the arrival of the apocalypse.

According to Meade, codes in the Bible suggest the end of the world is imminent.

Or not:
The guy who said the world as we know it would come to an end on Monday says we still have some time.

Christian conspiracy theorist David Meade sent believers into a spiral recently when he declared that the rapture was coming on Monday, April 23, but now he's calling those reports "fake news." Meade, who has wrongfully predicted the end of time before, told The Guardian that Jesus is coming to take some of us back up to heaven with him somewhere between May and December.

But it will no longer be the end of the world when this happens, he said, just seven years "tribulation," followed by 1,000 years of "peace and prosperity." Then the world will cease to exist.

Just as long as Jesus returns and catches up Trump's faithful into the air before early voting starts in October.

Fox News offers this: "Experts advise against selling all your belongings, going off your diet, ending training for that half-marathon next month, and quitting your job."

If I recall, there is/was some controversy over the timing of Jesus' return and the Rapture. There are those who say he comes back with the Rapture, followed by seven years of tribulation for those who remain. Others say he comes back in the middle of it. Still others say Jesus comes back to rescue Christians at the end of the seven years of tribulation, followed by a millennia of peace under his reign, then the end of the world.

Asked where he stood on the question of a pre-trib, mid-trib, or a post-trib Rapture, I once heard a sassy preacher declare himself a pan-millennialist because he figured it would all pan out in the end.

In evangelical circles that counts as wit.

* * * * * * * *

For The Win 2018 is ready for download. Request a copy of my county-level election mechanics primer at tom.bluecentury at gmail.